Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Randomize
