the condom got lost in my hair
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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