I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
