I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You are the jesus of drinking
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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