so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were trust falling into bushes
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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