Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
