Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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