I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So vagazzling was a success
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