Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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