this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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