Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
