i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
