i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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