Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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