He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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