Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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