yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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