Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
