So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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