we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
