We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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