I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
