Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
