so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
