He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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