So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
