I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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