I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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