..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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