i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
