Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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