3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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