This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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