Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
