I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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