I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize