have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
