So drunk its hurt
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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