he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
