I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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