Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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