All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
