We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
