first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
