Nicole vs. Life
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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