so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
