I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
