ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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