oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
