So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize