It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
