Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
