Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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