We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
