Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
