dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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