Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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