Don't you send me to vm
I'm going to jail i love you
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
