we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Are we still banned from the library?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
