So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
