tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
